I have been struggling to write anything at all during the past week, as I just haven’t been able to pull my words together. It’s not that there ain’t any words - there is way too many. So hopefully it makes some sort of sense!
I am not a good mover. I can honestly say, that every single time I have moved, I haven’t been feeling very good at all.
Most of the time, I learn to live with the feeling, which eventually passes with time. Other times, it does not, and eventually, it grows so unbearable that I have to change something.
Quickly calculated, I have moved ‘homes’ in my small life, for seven times and I am still struggling at it, even though I should be an expert! I am feeling all kind of shades of sadness and misery, while I am planning an escape to the safe and comfort again. Just because I cannot let myself settle with time. I want everything now and I want to see results so fast that no place I go, is capable of doing that. Yeah, it is a vicious cycle, that never seems to come to an end.
My seventh move started on the 12th of February from Helsinki-Vantaa airport. Once again, I had packed my bags and I was ready to flee. Well, I didn’t last a day when I was already pouring tears down my cheeks and hoping to be back at home. The complex situation of my new job did not help me to settle down any better either.
I felt a failure. Was I really going to give up just because of my feelings? Is there ever going to be a place where I feel home straight away? Why cannot I give it more time?
I have travelled some miles during the past years and slowly, very slowly, I am starting to see that the grass is actually green on both side of the fences. I have been thinking, that I have to travel to see the world and learn. I have been looking so narrowly past ‘’my side’’, that I have not been able to see the beauty where I am. I have forgot to open my mind at home.
Lately, I have crossed paths with people who really wanna drop everything and leave. Travel the world and live. And that’s great. That’s what I did and I can recommend it to anyone! It's just when, I see people so closed minded in their own environment, (me included) unable to see what is already there. Life is everywhere. But you are just where you are right now. So open that beautiful mind and look around. You might get surprised
Most of the time, I learn to live with the feeling, which eventually passes with time. Other times, it does not, and eventually, it grows so unbearable that I have to change something.
Quickly calculated, I have moved ‘homes’ in my small life, for seven times and I am still struggling at it, even though I should be an expert! I am feeling all kind of shades of sadness and misery, while I am planning an escape to the safe and comfort again. Just because I cannot let myself settle with time. I want everything now and I want to see results so fast that no place I go, is capable of doing that. Yeah, it is a vicious cycle, that never seems to come to an end.
My seventh move started on the 12th of February from Helsinki-Vantaa airport. Once again, I had packed my bags and I was ready to flee. Well, I didn’t last a day when I was already pouring tears down my cheeks and hoping to be back at home. The complex situation of my new job did not help me to settle down any better either.
I felt a failure. Was I really going to give up just because of my feelings? Is there ever going to be a place where I feel home straight away? Why cannot I give it more time?
I have travelled some miles during the past years and slowly, very slowly, I am starting to see that the grass is actually green on both side of the fences. I have been thinking, that I have to travel to see the world and learn. I have been looking so narrowly past ‘’my side’’, that I have not been able to see the beauty where I am. I have forgot to open my mind at home.
Lately, I have crossed paths with people who really wanna drop everything and leave. Travel the world and live. And that’s great. That’s what I did and I can recommend it to anyone! It's just when, I see people so closed minded in their own environment, (me included) unable to see what is already there. Life is everywhere. But you are just where you are right now. So open that beautiful mind and look around. You might get surprised